Gorgeous Days

I love being outdoors. There's just something about sunshine and trees and wind that lifts my mood like nothing else can. The weather these past few days has been gorgeous. Gorgeous. What's really great about good weather is being able to get out of the house with the boys. Living in a crowded duplex with two very active little boys can be challenging, to say the least. We are praying that some sort of housing solution comes along in the near future. That's another post for another day. Great weather makes is possible for us to get outside and get moving, which is good news for everyone. In the winter months, I feel a bit trapped by the weather and where we live. Our house is on an enormous hill, and I am certain is one of the last places in a 100 mile radius to be plowed (and terribly at that) after a storm, so if the weather is bad/has been bad/is going to be bad, I don't feel confident enough in my winter driving skills (read: terrified) to go much of anywhere without Kyler around. So yesterday, the boys and I packed up the sippy cups, snacks, and sunscreen, and headed out for an afternoon in the sunshine. My pregnancy is going well, but pushing the boys (30+ lbs. and 40 lbs.) up the hill in the double stroller (15+ lbs. - you do the math) is really starting to get my heart racing (and the contractions going), so it's driving to the park/walking destination from here on out. I love where we live. I hate that our house has no yard, is a not-great-for-ministry distance from church and especially the college, and presents many challenges in wintertime, but it does have a great view. I mean, I get to wake up and eat breakfast looking at this:



And this...

And my favorite...


It makes me feel happy. And what's better is about a 1/2 mile just down the hill is Harper's Ferry National Park, which is where the boys and I have been walking the past few days. We took a good 2 1/2 - 3-mile walk yesterday, which as it turns out, was too much for me. I could hardly move last night. I'm pretty sure this is because our double stroller is well-worn, bears hard to the right, and is too short for me. Perfect recipe for post-walk back pain. Anyway, the grounds in the park are beautiful. Around here as scenic walks go, you can't really beat walking through woods and historic land right next to the Shenandoah. The boys had a blast. They loved looking at the river (we'll venture to the river when it's not still at flood stage from the rains and Daddy is with us to catch running toddlers that Mommy's pregnant body is not fast enough to keep up with...) :) Kayden had a great time counting the geese, which he called "gooses," "mooses," and "geeses" indiscriminately. Many of them had a small flock of goslings with them, so the boys got to see the cute little yellow fuzzballs floating in the water and walking around in the grass, too. I found a great spot over by John Brown's fort (the artillery building) that is newly renovated and a perfect play place for the boys. Rocks, trees, twigs, bugs, dirt...what more does a little boy need, really? We probably spent over an hour there yesterday, and almost that today. It was a refreshing break, and a good excuse to leave the chaotic mess in our house for a rainy day. :)

"Not Me!" Monday

Hello Friends! Welcome to "Not Me!" Monday! Yes, I realize it is Wednesday. We'll get to that later. Point is, I'd like to start a new blogging tradition of 'fessing up on Mondays and starting the week with a clean slate.

"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun, blogging carnival started by MckMama on her blog, my charming kids. Basically, it's where we all can be brutally honest about the ridiculous things that will inevitably happen in everyday life.

Follow this link to her blog, where you can read hundreds more fun stories about all of the things that she and everyone else didn't do this week. And, if you decide to join in the fun, be sure to leave me a comment so I can read about all of the things you didn't do this week!

Okay, here we go!

First of all, I ought to let you know that the reason I am posting my very first "Not Me!" Monday on Wednesday is not because I am an emotional, hormonal pregnant mess, and spent most of Monday crying over the uncontrollable, chaotic mess that is our home. And Tuesday, I did not pretend as if none of that had ever happened and attend an all-day conference with some of the leadership from our church. Nope, not me. I keep my emotions in complete check at all times.

Now that that's cleared up, I can get started with what happened this week. Our week started with the entire family under allergy attack from the nasty spring pollen count which has been through the roof around here lately. All of us were sniffling, sneezing, full of snot and generally miserable. We were staying at Kyler's parents' house, recovering from a college ministry event we held there the night before. The boys had an extremely restless night, and were hardly eating or drinking at all, what with all of the snot in their stomachs. And Kyler's mom is out of town, and there was not a single appetizing alternative anywhere to be found. Even given these circumstances, I certainly did not allow Cameron to eat his fill of animal crackers for breakfast. Nope, not me! Not only would that be giving in to the whims of my small children, but it would be lazy and an altogether unwholesome way to start their day.

A few days later, while desperately trying to get the boys out of the house for some much needed playtime outside (after endless days of rain around here...), I absolutely did not give up trying to find Cam's matching tennis shoes and put the two nearest mis-matched shoes on his feet just so we could get to the park before the rain started. Then, realizing that the park was visibly loaded with enormous muddy puddles, I did not choose instead to take the boys over to a complete stranger's house, where my husband and a large group of teenagers and adult volunteers were completing a yard work service project. I certainly didn't allow my two toddlers to have complete reign over this person's front and side yards, stomping through unfinished flower beds and throwing weeds and worms while the teens worked. And of course, no mother worth her salt would find a bench in the shade on this person's front porch and park her tired, pregnant body there for half an hour, letting her children run around attended by teenagers with sharp gardening tools. Nope, not me!

The next day, even though I was completely exhausted from the week's events, I did not plop my two adorable children down in front of the 90-minute VeggieTales "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything," so I could have a few stinking moments of quiet. I then did not use that time to blog my little heart out. That would be neglecting important learning time, not to mention selfish, and it would be using the TV to babysit my children, which I most certainly do not do, ever.

Finally, I did not sit down at the computer for two minutes to check my e-mail just before lunch on Saturday, while the boys were playing downstairs. Nope, not me. I supervise my children every waking moment of the day, like any good mother would. In that two minutes, I did not hear my sons exclaiming loudly in the kitchen (which I had not closed off with the gate, like any good mother would...) with full mouths, "Yum, yum, yum, yum....BA-licious!!" I then did not walk into the kitchen to find them chowing down on four slices of whole wheat bread, each. In that two minutes, they had found the kitchen stool, retreived the bag of bread, opened the twisty tie, and gone to town.


And of course, upon discovering this, I certainly didn't provide them each with a sippy of water and allow them to enjoy their lunch of bread. Not me. As stated above, I provide my children with nutritious, well-balanced meals. It must've been someone else's kids.

Ants

We've had a lot of rain lately. Buckets. I mean, I'm no meteorologist, but ten straight days of (almost) all day, drenching rain is a lot. The Shenandoah and Potomac are a raging, muddy torrent. It's kinda crazy. Yesterday and today we had a bit of a respite from the downpour, and have gotten a glimpse of gorgeous weather. The kind of gorgeous that motivates this tired, aching pregnant body to push 70lbs. of toddler (that's the combined weight of two toddlers, not one massively overweight toddler!) + double stroller up our torturous hill.

Anyway, there's a downside. No creature likes that much rain. So, they start looking for new digs, and apparently, our house has some kind of ant vacancy sign plastered on it. These are some crazy sized ants, too. There are the ridiculously enormous ones - these guys are like big, plump raisin-sized dudes! They have an audible CRUNCH when you step on them. BIG. They found the syrup, and I found them (when Kyler wasn't home, naturally, so I couldn't pawn it off on him...grrrr...)

Then there are the annoyingly miniscule all-in-a-line-on-a-mission ants. It has taken me the better part of a week to figure out what the heck they have been after. They climb the kitchen bookshelf (yes, we have a bookshelf in our kitchen...think cheap makeshift pantry) and onto one shelf only. They didn't seem to be interested in any of the yummy things on any other shelf, just this one. So, I unloaded the shelf and put the things across the kitchen. Contrary to my prior experience with ants, these guys were dumb. They did not track down the contents of said shelf across the room. They just stopped coming. I did not find ants in our cereal, or anything else on the shelf for that matter, so that night I put everything back. Two days later, the ants reappeared. Same story, second verse. Go figure.

I guess I should be thankful. These ants don't bite (well, not yet). In Texas, the ants bite, and it hurts. (Hence the name, fire ants.) They are really terrible, and I'm allergic to them (seriously, I get huge welps from one tiny bite). These just go about their business, ignoring whether or not they are crawling on a person. Kayden and Cameron have desperately tried to adopt and play with the ones they find, much to my chagrin. Anyway...

It wasn't until yesterday that I really started tearing things apart trying to figure out why the ants didn't seem to be following the food across the kitchen. And, I was curious as to why many of the ants seemed to have dropped out of line to take a little nap on my shelf. They weren't dead, just sitting there having a little siesta. Then I checked the plastic storage drawers we have next to the kitchen bookshelf and VOILA! found the object of the ants' sporadic journeying. The top drawer contains all of our kiddie medicine droppers, gas drops, etc. AAAAND....cherry flavored Children's Tylenol. Apparently, there was a yummy little line of sticky, dried Tylenol on the side of the bottle drawing these little guys. And they were lapping it up, and drugging themselves into Tylenol-induced ant comas on the way home. Seeing as how the dosing guidelines suggest asking a doctor before administering to a child that weighs less than 24lbs., these guys were into some serious painkillers. Too funny! :)

Now, to keep them out of the house altogether...

The Road Marked With Suffering

I'm a worship leader at our church, so to say "one of my favorite songs..." doesn't carry much weight. I have about a million favorites - so many songs have spoken God's truth into my life at one time or another. So I guess, a song that has really spoken to me is "Blessed Be Your Name," by Matt Redman, or Chris Tomlin, or Tree63, or whoever your favorite artist is that has covered it at one time or another. You can listen to it on the playlist at the bottom of the page (it's #14), or you can find it here (unofficial YouTube version). Anyway, the lyrics read:

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away,
You give and take away,
My heart would choose to say,
Lord, blessed be Your Name

I think the main reason this song speaks to me so powerfully is because I am always challenged by it, regardless of where I find myself. I especially have to ask myself if I am living true to the words I sing in the sixth stanza:

Blessed be your name,
on the road marked with suffering,
though there's pain in the offering,
blessed be your name...

Am I really living out my faith in this way? When I run up against a setback, major disappointment, or devastating event are my first thoughts or words really "Oh, thanks for that, God! Blessed be Your Name!" ??

Ummm...no.

A great, big, fat, resounding NO. If I'm truly honest, I usually throw myself a royal pity party, complete with whining and moping - on the inside at least, although I'm certainly not above an outward demonstration of my feelings. (In fact, I feel like I usually have a really hard time controlling this and everyone must know what a terrible day I'm having, and poo on them for butting in...)

God has really broken my heart for all of the hurting and suffering around me this week. A few weeks ago, I was reading another friend's blog, and I followed a link and happened upon my charming kids, the blog of a mom/family with an exceptional story, and now (thanks to the Internet) what seems like a worldwide platform to declare God's glory through their suffering. Amazing - I'll blog on that later. Last night, her blog basically gave an open call for prayer, and currently has over 800 comments asking for or offering prayer. The stories moved me to tears over and over again. And seriously, this wasn't just because I'm pregnant and emotional and it was closing in on midnight. They were transforming. Among them were the stories of precious Kayleigh and Jonah, facing trials of a caliber that are just...indescribable.

Monday, Kyler went to visit someone from our church in the hospital who has been battling breast cancer for three years. She's been in and out of hospitals, been on the chemo roller coaster, and just recently the cancer was found to have spread to her bones and other major organs. She passed away early yesterday morning. She's the mom of three young kids, two little girls ages 7 and 6, and a 3-year-old little boy. The really gut-wrenching part of this family's story is that they just lost their grandmother (this woman's mother-in-law) in January (also from cancer). She (the grandmother) was a pillar of faith in our church; a prayer warrior and boundless servant of God. So now, the son has lost his mom and his wife in the past four months. My heart is just broken for him, those little children, and their entire family.

When I started writing this post, I was thinking about these families and their stories, and was feeling so selfish. I am so blessed. The setbacks I encounter on a daily basis are so insignificant compared to the circumstances in which these folks find themselves. And they, for the most part, have responded with such honesty, transparency, grace, and faith. I have to ask myself how I would respond if God chose me for a portion such as theirs. I'd like to think that my life, regardless of hardship, pain, or suffering, would always point to Him. I'd like to think that my response would glorify and exalt Him. I'd like to think that my selfish and sinful human nature wouldn't cloud my realization that my Creator has a plan to prosper me, and He knows the entire plan, not just the parts that will cause me pain. I'd like to think I would resolutely stay the course, and trust that He who began a good work in me would carry it on until completion.

But I'm not so sure I would.

And so, I pray that should God ever give me such a public opportunity to glorify Him in and through my suffering, I would respond in a way that glorified Him, and brought hope to those around me. (Though of course, if I'm really honest, I'll admit that my selfish nature hopes against hope that my "portion" should ever include such a excruciating trial such as those I've mentioned.) That being the case, I'll pray just the same. And, I'll pray for those families and thank God for the blessing their testimony has been to me.

You give and take away,
You give and take away,
My heart would choose to say,
Lord, blessed be Your Name

Three Years Old!

Sunday was Kayden's 3rd birthday, and I can hardly believe I've been a mom that long! You know how fast time is going to pass when you see how much they grow in just a few short months after they're born, but it just doesn't prepare you for how quickly it all goes by! I know, I know, wait until he's graduating or getting married - I just can't even imagine right now. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant (although I'm fairly sure that's just a good excuse), but I can hardly think about him going to school in two years without crying.

He is growing so quickly, too. Already, he's a good 40 pounds and 42-43" tall (that's 3 1/2 FEET!!!) I can hardly believe how much he can eat in one sitting - sometimes it's enough to rival even the hungriest adult! His vocabulary is growing by the day; he is constantly surprising us with the words and phrases he picks up. He described something the other day as "incredible" and "extraordinary" (!!!) and not too long ago told his brother to "just CHILL, okay?!" when he was whining about something (can't imagine where he may have picked that up). Too funny. :)

KAYDEN'S FAVORITES:

Foods:
Yogurt with fruit and Cheerios, chicken nuggets, string cheese, most any fruit

Cartoons:
WordWorld, VeggieTales, and Curious George

Toys:
Play kitchen, cars & trucks, dinosaurs & Daddy's old Star Wars toys (at the same time), etch-a-sketch and magnetic letters, wooden blocks and Duplo blocks (big Legos), and bouncy balls, baseballs, footballs, basketballs, soccer balls...(you get the idea).

Books:
Books about animals, his rhyming Bible, Noah's Ark, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar and The Very Quiet Cricket by Eric Carle.

Places:
the PARK! (and anywhere outdoors, really)
Grammy & Ogee's house
Daddy's office at church

Words:
"BA-licious!!!"
(his word for "delicious" - he can say "delicious," he just doesn't like it as much...ha!)

***************************************************************************

Some photos of Kayden's first three years:

Hello world!
May 3, 2006
5:06pm
8lbs. 7oz./23"


one week old


4 months



7 months
(I'm excited because Mommy is pregnant - she just doesn't know it yet!)

13 months
(Mommy is 7 months pregnant!)


Almost 16 months - meeting my baby brother


18 months

20 months (and 4 months)


26 months


2 1/2 years


Happy 3rd Birthday!
We love you kiddo!

Little Battles

I've been reading in Joshua lately, and a few days ago finished chapter six, when Joshua and his army conquer Jericho. It's Chapter 7 though, that always serves as a reminder to commit everything I do to God, regardless of how small or insignificant it seems to me. In Joshua 7, the Israelites, reeling from their spectacular defeat of Jericho, are routed in their attempt to conquer Ai, a small neighboring city. Before the defeat, Joshua had sent spies to Ai, who had reported that it was small and had few men. So, Joshua only sent a few thousand of his men to Ai. They were smartly defeated by those few men, and chased far outside the city gates. Joshua mourned the loss of 36 men, and sought God in an attempt to understand why He had allowed the defeat. It was then that God revealed the sin among the Israelites - someone had disregarded His command to take nothing out of Jericho.

There are many lessons to be learned here, but what strikes me the most at this particular place in my life is how Joshua sought God after the defeat at Ai, not before. He relied on his own intelligence, cunning, and strength as a leader for the upcoming battle. He sent spies to the land, and wholly relied on their opinion and his intuition for the victory, and was crushed when that didn't work out so well.

It really floors me how often I do this. Seriously, I consider myself to have pretty decent intelligence, and yet I make this same mistake over and over again. There are probably times when I make it several times - in one day! How often do I prepare to face some "little battle" in my life wholly on my own strength, intelligence, willpower, etc.? I struggle through some days as if I'm walking through mud up to my waist, wondering why the smallest of tasks are so burdensome and difficult. Well, duh. It's so easy for me to get that "wonder woman" sydrome - I can do it all....Ummm, no, I can't. And of course it's natural to go to God with the things I can't handle (the ones I know I can't control, as opposed to the ones I think I can...) Those are easy to let go of, because I never really felt like I had a hold on from the get-go. But the "little battles," the small everyday things that I think I should be able to do no problem, well it takes more than just remembering to go to God and cover those in prayer. It takes some letting go of my own pride and self-determination, too.

I had some major grad projects due this week. Naturally, I left them until the last few days to start them. In college, (the first time...) this worked great. I really do produce some of my best work at the last minute. But in college, I didn't have a husband, a house to clean, two toddlers to care for, or a pregnant belly. Procrastinating is downright exhausting at this stage of life! Anyway, these projects shouldn't have taken me so long. Every step was bogged down by indecision, exhaustion, and difficulty. It wasn't until I was nearly finished and wondering why on earth it had taken me nearly 20 hours to complete what should have been a 6-hour assignment that I realized I hadn't once sought God and asked for His help. Even as I read through Joshua and reminded myself of this valuable lesson, I neglected to apply it right then in my life. Isn't that just like me.

What an incredible gift that my creator knows me, loves me and accepts me right where I am, even when I am foolish enough to try and control even the tiniest of details on my own. Amazing grace, indeed.

Little Baby

I know, I've been totally slacking off on the blogging front. So many ideas for blogs, and I usually choose sleep. Can you blame me? :) I have grand ideas about blogging more regularly from now on, but I know better than to promise anything. Anyway...

Yesterday morning, we all piled into the car and headed to Sterling for Baby #3's sonogram (our insurance only covers one, so this was a big event!) We were anticipating quite a big adventure, because we were taking the boys with us to the appointment. It's about an hour's drive to Sterling (without traffic), and miraculously, we actually arrived a little early.

The boys actually behaved themselves quite well, and were pretty much mesmerized by the ultrasound technician and the images on the TV screen. They took turns sitting up on Kyler's shoulders so they could be closer to the TV (mounted up high in the corner of the room, so I had a great view, too). Cameron kept pointing at my belly, saying, "baba," and was quite amused with the gooey jelly on my tummy.

Okay, so I'll stop babbling now and get to the pics:

Baby #3 - 4D
We'd never seen a 4D ultrasound of our baby before, so it was really pretty cool. I'll admit, it does look like a lumpy bunch of clay. And because it's only 21 weeks, Baby's skin is still pretty loose and weird looking. But, it's still our baby and completely miraculous. :)

Precious baby feet!

I know this one is hard to make out, but it's a shot of Baby's head and one forearm. The tech said Baby was "waving" to us, and even printed two identical shots and personalized them for Kayden and Cameron - such a nice thing to do!

Little baby was breech when this pic was taken, although I'm sure it did at least a dozen somersaults during the hour we were in the sonogram room!

And...the picture you've all been waiting for, the "gender" shot.

It's taken directly underneath our little baby (you see one bent leg, blurry pelvic bones, etc.) Of course, the tech and radiologist will never tell you they are 100% sure, but both of them told us they have a "Chances are: Poor, Fair, or Good" baby will be a boy/girl.

And both also said this baby falls at the top of their "good" range that Kayden and Cameron will be welcoming a new little...

BABY BROTHER!

Yep, those are some pretty decisive boy parts.
This Mommy is going to be seriously outnumbered - and I coudn't be more thrilled! :)

And my favorite: the profile shot. What a beautiful, perfect little miracle growing in my belly!

And the answer is no, we haven't named him yet. In fact, we both let out a little sigh when we saw the little boy parts. (We've gotten pretty good at telling, one reason why we may as well find out during the sonogram, chances are we'd see it anyway!) Anyway, we didn't sigh because we were disappointed, we sighed because we both knew we have absolutely no idea what we are going to name the little man. We had a girl's name picked out, but haven't even narrowed the field for a boy.

So, until we decide otherwise, we're calling the baby "Yogi". Get it? Yogi Barr?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know, we're hilarious. His nickname is "Boo Boo" as in, "Heeeeey, BooBoo!" Ridiculous, but it keeps us amused until we can arrive at a decision. Suggestions are welcome. :)

Thanks for sharing in this journey with us! More to come....

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is our 5th Anniversary! For now, just a picture....