White Elephants

We've all seen them. In fact, they're pretty common this time of year. (Well, this time of year a few weeks ago. I've been a little slow on the blogging-idea-to-published-blog lately.) Anyway, if they're done right, these type are one of Kyler's and my favorite.

What I'm speaking of, of course, are white elephants. White Elephant parties, that is. You know, a holiday party with a gift exchange. Not just any gift exchange, mind you. This is a gift exchange where re-gifting** is okay. In fact, it's not just acceptable, it's encouraged. Or at least in my opinion, it should be, if you want a fun party.

**Aside: Do you re-gift? We do...frequently. It's the only way we manage to have gifts for all the various events we attend, and when your kids have officially entered "birthday party age," as ours have, and your husband is a youth pastor, in addition to knowing everyone within a 90-mile radius... (Well, almost. For a fact we hardly ever go to Wal-Mart without stopping to chat with a dozen people Kyler knows.) Anyway, you get the idea. It's a lot of events.

So back to White Elephant gift exchanges. There are many variations. The gist of it is: you draw numbers for the gift-opening order. You open gifts, with each subsequent gift-opener having the option of "stealing" a previously opened gift. Chaos and laughter ensues. The gifts are - or should be - totally useless or just plain ridiculous.

Sadly, some folks just get it all wrong. Well, in my opinion anyway. Kyler and I once went to a work Christmas party that boasted a fantastic "White Elephant" gift exchange. Boy, were we in for a surprise! When it came time for the exchange, you should have seen the look on Kyler's and my face when the first present opened was a bottle of wine. I'm not kidding. The presents just got fancier. I was mortified.** I'd wrapped up one of those giant Hershey's kisses that a student gave me for Christmas earlier that day. HA!

**Aside: For the record, I am not terribly hopeless. There was NO indication that the presents were going to be so fancy! No monetary limit or anything, like some invites suggest. It only indicated that there would be a White Elephant gift exchange. Oh well. 

I happen to think that White Elephants are most enjoyable when the gifts in question are re-gifts. And the more ridiculously outrageous, the better. For example, some of my favorites have included:

-- an enormous, fake, flowered, lighted topiary. Who gives something that hideous to a college student?! The best part? The person who opened it - another college student - was incredulous that anyone would be giving something "so beautiful!" away. My roommate and I could hardly contain our laughter....

-- Another college campus ministry exchange yielded an "annual" gift. You know, the kind of gift worthy of re-gifting and passing around year after year in the same gathering. This gift was the perfect gag for a Christian campus ministry group: a small, green, foot-high Buddha statue. We took him home and kept him on our porch, dressing him up for all of the holidays throughout the year.

-- This year's moment of hilarity happened when our worship pastor's son decided to join in the exchange at a party and opened, much to his utter disbelief and adolescent horror, a very large, pink box full of nursing pads! Oh my, the laughter was deafening. So. Very. Funny. As one of only two nursing mothers in the room, I'm proud to say I swooped in and "took one for the team," rescuing the poor kid from his humiliation and "stealing" the gift away. Besides, it has great White Elephant re-gifting potential, don't you think?

Ahhh, so fun.

So I need some more ideas! I'm curious, what sorts of absurd gifts have you given or received at White Elephant parties? I could always use a few more great ideas!

Now, what to do with this year's gifts???
   

Suitcases

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe a young mother who lived out of a suitcase...

Whew. What a whirlwind these past few weeks have been! Exhausting. Overwhelming. Exceedingly frustrating. (Just to name a few more adjectives that come to mind...) The holidays passed far too quickly for me this year. Autumn is my favorite time of year: football, brisk weather, gorgeous colors, falling leaves, and it all culminates in Christmas, my favorite holiday. But this year was different. It was all just too...frantic.

And now, I feel like I'm in a tailspin, desperately trying to recover and regain some semblance of order out of all of this chaos. I haven't blogged in what seems like ages, and my head is spinning, dizzy from all of the unwritten pieces bouncing around in there.

So, I stayed up late to write. It's 1:23am. Do you know where your children are? I do. I can hear them, awake, playing with stuff in their rooms. Rooms, because we had to separate them again. It sounded like UFC in there. You know, if I watched UFC. They are totally wound up. We're at my in-laws...again. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my in-laws. Seriously. I almost always hear people referring to their in-laws with that tone in their voice. You know the one. The one that says, "I only put up with you because I have to." The tone you hear in my voice when I mention my in-laws is, "what on Earth would I do without these  people?!" Really. If you know them, you know they are just that fantastic. Gracious, hospitable, caring and giving, I am beyond blessed to call them family and have them nearby.

It's just...I feel like I have been living here lately, and I feel like we are in the way when we stay. I know we are welcome, but my mother-in-law works from home, and I feel terrible when the boys are running willy-nilly through her house, leaving a rather large swath of toys, sippy cups, and other debris in their wake. Three small boys are not quiet or tidy, no matter how you shake it. Boys just aren't wired that way, especially not our sons.

It's taking us awhile to adjust to having three kids. Longer than I thought it would, I'll admit. The first couple months were tough, with Callan's colic and undiagnosed reflux, and looking back, I'm fairly certain I had some pretty significant postpartum depression issues going on as I tried to juggle it all. Now it's not so much the everything-takes-fourteen-times-longer-than-I think-is-even-remotely-possible, or even the it's-amazing-how-my-kid-manages-to-have-a-massive-diaper-blowout-mere-seconds-before-we-walk-out-the-door. No, we've pretty much got those covered, surprisingly. It's more the not realizing just how much stress and chaos having an inconsolable baby creates, particularly when we have two other (relatively young) children to care for. And especially not realizing just how much of that stress I, in particular, hold on to, even when I get a short respite from it all while Kyler takes the boys or when Callan has a good day.

This all came to a head a few days ago. We were finally home after all of the craziness leading up to Christmas, and then the "holiday" itself, and then after only 1-1/2 days at home, heading back to his parents for the new year and several more days while his aunt, uncle, and cousins from out of state were here visiting. Home. Finally. And there is stuff everywhere. Seriously. I don't delude myself with aspirations of a spotless, beautiful home where laundry is always done and the floors are clean enough to eat off of....ummmm, well, I guess that happens anyway.

I know things will not be as ordered, organized, planned, or perfect as I wish. This I have come to accept. But the living out of suitcases is not helping matters. I need to be home, so I can begin to recover from all of the traveling. And yes, I know it's so much more than that, and it's so much more about me feeling in control than I'm willing to admit. Ministry is hard. Sometimes I feel like my family lives at church (heck, we could, what with the quilts, pull-out sofa and pack-n-play in my husband's office...) I suppose there are about a jillion other factors coming into play here too - trying to do college ministry when you live 25 minutes away from the college (and your in-laws live 5 minutes from the college), for one - all factors that affect why I feel all of the above, but many that I don't have the time or energy to share just now. And it's about time I wrapped this one up.

If you've made it this far, and you're not my mom, thanks for reading and sticking with me. I recognize this post has been a bunch of incoherent ramblings, none of them tied together or wrapped up. Guess that just mimics how I feel right about now, definitely not like a cute little package all wrapped up neatly and tied with a bow.

Well, I suppose living out of a suitcase isn't all that bad. It could be worse...

I could live in a shoe.

House Calls

     
Do you think Merlin makes house calls? I wish...

     

Frozen Skywater

About a week ago, it snowed here. A lot. Thanks to their new obsession, "The Land Before Time," and dino-mania, the boys began shrieking, "frozen skywater! yay! yay! yay!"

When it was all said and done, we had around 20 inches. Crazy! I love snow...guess that's a by-product of growing up in Texas, where we had no snow. (Until now, apparently. Some of my friends are bragging about having a "White Christmas!")

Anyway, we had a blast getting the boys out in the snow to play! Callan (very considerately) napped while we took them outside. We had so much fun! Enjoy the pics!

Right out the front door

 

 

Kyler just so happened to have his father's truck the evening of the snowstorm, and it made a great "snow box" for the boys to play in! I threw in a couple of sand box buckets, scoops, and shovels, and they were happy as little clams (and so cute, too!)

One of Cam's favorite parts about being out in the snow was the measuring. He carried around a (broken) yardstick nearly the entire time, testing the depth of the snow at every step.

 

 

 

 

Kayden enjoyed tasting the snow, which involved many deliberate face plants. Pretty hilarious to watch!

 

 

 

 

While we played, Daddy shoveled.

Cam wanted to help, too. He was adorable.

 

 

 

 

 

We can't wait for the next storm. Heads up!

 

       

Every Day Is Christmas

     
Merry Christmas!

I wish you all a day filled with joy, friends, and family! I am looking forward to some much-needed down-time with my family and my Lord. I literally can't wait to get by myself and spend some time dwelling on God's goodness and the miracle of Jesus' birth. I haven't yet had the opportunity to do one of my favorite Christmastime things: find a comfy spot to sit with a hot drink in the middle of the (quiet, still) night, gaze on a lit Christmas tree, and just be still before God. Tonight, after the craziness of this afternoon and our church Christmas Eve service tonight, I will do that. Oh, the magic and mystery of Christmas Eve!

Some pics from our Christmases past:

 

 

 

 

 

We were given a copy of this poem with a Christmas card this year. It's probably pretty common, but I had never read it before. I appreciated its words and message, and hope you will, too. (As far as I know (I googled it) the author is unknown.) Have a lovely Christmas! 

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Every day is Christmas
when you have the kind of mind,
That stores up all the goodness
and the sweetness it can find.
When you don't need an occasion,
to spread a bit of cheer,
But just keep on a-giving,
of yourself throughout the year.

Every day is Christmas,
with a gaily wrapped surprise,
When you to see the friendship,
in someone else's eyes.
When you try a little harder,
and complain a little less,
Holding fast to all the fervor
of the faith that you possess.

Every day is Christmas,
when you've found that you can be
More concerned with words like "you"
and less with "I" and "me".
When it's fun to do a favor,
and to lend a helping a hand,
When being understood means less,
than when you understand.

Every day is Christmas,
with a beauty deeply cast,
When you find it doesn't matter,
if you're first or if you're last.
When you can face your conscience,
and be glad of what you are,
Then every day is Christmas,
with a stable and a star.

~ Author Unknown

Walks in Parks

Lately, we've been battling allergies. Lots and lots of allergies. Let me tell you, caring for three young, coughing, runny-nosed, feverish children is no walk in the park. Quite the opposite, actually.

Last I had the opportunity (which wasn't too long ago), walks in parks were lovely, relaxing, and altogether very enjoyable. They did not include tissue boxes or Children's Tylenol, antibiotics or antihistamines, ear infections, saline spray, or "nose suckers" (otherwise known as bulb syringes). As a matter of fact, I think those things are a cruel parental torture device. I can torture my poor baby and myself at the same time!

Sigh.  

I am trying to be joyful. It's hard not to be grumpy when I am overwhelmed by the mundane tasks of motherhood. I'm reminded to revisit this post, where I found so much encouragement to invite the Glorious into the mundane. And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't have another look at the book of James and the words I wrote in this post.

A swift kick in the pants and a new perspective probably wouldn't hurt, either. I'm not so foolish to think there aren't millions of other people with more challenging circumstances. I am still trying. I just do much better some days than others.

So, while walks in parks are beautiful, invigorating, and fun, and this week with my coughing, sneezing, whining, crying, snot-blowing, feverish children has been, well....NOT....

I will be joyful.
     

Heads Up!

"Not Me!" Monday

Welcome! Are you feeling embarrassed that in a rush to get to church, you wore your blouse inside out? Or maybe your mother-in-law found out that you routinely let your children jump on her extra bouncy sofa when she's not around? Perhaps you just gave in and had cookies for dinner...twice...this week. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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This week was  L  O  N  G. I'm sure you know the feeling. Even so, there was never a time when I felt like I needed a break. And even if I did, I never would have put the baby down to sleep, set up the gate between the living room and kitchen, given the boys a handful of tortilla chips, and put on a VeggieTales dvd, just so I could enjoy a bowl of soup and a moment of peace and quiet. Nope. Not me!   

Oh, thank you for noticing that we dropped a large, heavy winter coat on the floor of our entryway. Umm...NO, it was in fact not there on purpose to block the sizable draft coming in from under the front door. The space in front of this door is our designated time-out spot, but the draft was most certainly not created by the removal of the weather stripping (by a small child in the throes of a tantrum) during one such time-out. Not in my house! 

I have terrible fall allergies, and this week has been pretty bad. But no matter how bad the headaches get, and no matter how dry the air in our house, I would never dream of swiping the humidifier in my infant's room to use in my own room. Never. Not me!

I did not catch Cameron smashing cereal onto our coffee table in the living room and feeding it to his dinosaur. (Little dinosaur, hence the need for minuscule cereal bits...obviously.)

What?? You spy a speck of chocolate on my lip? Oh, ummm, that must be from the, uhhh, leftover Halloween candy. Yeah. It's, ummm, definitely not from the package of Reese's Christmas trees I bought to put in my husband's stocking.

Our boys are going through a (how should I put it?) difficult season during bedtimes recently. Cameron routinely climbs out of his bed and onto his brother. In fact, "the more annoying, the better," seems to be Cam's motto as of late, particularly as pertains to his brother and bedtime. And, while Kyler and I certainly recognize how irritating this must be for Kayden, we are finding it also necessary to make sure he understands that smacking his brother or shoving him off of his bed are not appropriate responses. So, when Kyler went upstairs to mediate another such skirmish during nap time the other day, he found that Kayden had yet again shoved his brother onto the floor after Cam had attempted to get into his bed. Wanting to know what had caused all of the screaming, I listened intently over the monitor as my patient husband worked through the situation. But when Kyler told Kayden he needed to apologize to his brother for pushing him off the bed, the connection must have been fuzzy. It wasn't my kid who responded, "Ummm....how about next time...."

Not my child!

Speaking of my children, we spent the better part of Wednesday this past week visiting the pediatrician. Let me tell you, three sick kids is no walk in the park (blog on that forthcoming this week...) And just so you have the complete picture of our family life, I want you to envision the following:

We arrived at the doctor's office on time (of course), sat nicely in the waiting room, and filled out some of the necessary paperwork. (We were not twenty minutes late, my children did not burst into the office like gangbusters, and I was not filling out paperwork with one foot rocking the baby carrier, one arm trying to keep Cameron out of the fish tank, and one hand scrawling chicken scratch onto the form, which was balancing precariously on my lap.) When the nurse called us, we all headed back to the exam room, walking calmly with our hands to ourselves and using our whisper voices. (I did not have to hurriedly gather three coats, three hats, a diaper bag and a baby carrier and chase after the two big boys, who were shrieking and jumping down the hall.) Once inside the exam room, Kayden sat patiently as the nurse took his temperature. When she sweetly asked him to follow her so she could weigh him, he obeyed promptly, exclaiming, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I love getting weighed! Let's go!" (He did not refuse to let the nurse take his temp, or throw himself on the floor in protest when asked to come to the scale. I did not have to drag him down the hall to the scale, holding a squirming infant in the other arm. He did not then collapse in a heap on the floor, go jelly-legged when I attempted to put him on the scale myself, or shriek in utter disobedience. I did not have to hand my infant to the nurse and excuse myself as I carried him to the bathroom for a "chat." Nor did said "chat" have absolutely zero effect on his wayward behavior.) We returned to the exam room after weighing the boys, and quietly read several picture books as we waited for the doctor. I did not have to chase Cameron down the hall not once, but three times, to find him in the waiting room, jumping from chair to chair.) I left the doctor's office feeling supremely confident in my parenting abilities, pleased as punch that my children are obedient, shining little stars in public. (It wasn't me who got out of that office as fast as my tired body could carry me, straining under the weight of a baby carrier, diaper bag, blankets, coats, and the train of toddlers I was dragging along behind me. And I certainly did not want to throw myself down onto the floor, beat my fists, kick my legs, and throw a big, fat, whopping tantrum all my own.)  

Not me!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!