"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for chewing your husband out over something completely inconsequential? Wondering if anyone noticed you sneaking bites of ice cream right out of the carton? Perhaps you just gave in and let your kids run willy nilly through the house all afternoon without so much as a glimpse of a nap. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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Remember this post about the things I find in my husband's pockets when I do the laundry? Well. Occasionally, he remembers to empty his pockets. But rest assured, he doesn't just dump the contents onto his night stand in full reach of curious little fingers. So it wasn't my middle son who I found on our bed the other day, happily examining an xacto knife. Nor did I find the same son walking around with enormous adapter jacks in his mouth mere minutes later. And I definitely didn't send my husband a hasty text, blasting him for leaving the aforementioned items on his nightstand for the kids to find. Nope. Not me!

Kayden had an accident at the park the other day. Bless his heart, he tried with all his might to hold it, but his little brother really just wasn't interested in leaving the playground to walk all the way to the bathrooms, and he dragged his feet the whole way. Hence, the sidewalk just outside the bathroom was marked, and our park visit cut short. But when our family got home, we definitely did not have Kayden strip out on the porch, and when total chaos ensued, we certainly did not proceed to totally forget about his clothes for another 24 hours before discovering them and dumping them in the washer. Nope.

My in-laws have been plagued by a little nocturnal creature the past few weeks. He sneaks into the kitchen at night and searches for a snack, leaving his droppings behind. (How rude.) So, my father-in-law set out to eradicate the little guy (kinda sad, actually). One morning, I noticed that he had indeed succeeded. Although I was disgusted, it certainly wasn't me who left this note for my father-in-law before I left for work that morning:

Nope. Not me!

As you may or may not know, Callan and I went to upstate New York a couple weekends ago to visit with some extended family and attend the bridal shower of my first cousin Lauren. While I was there, I roped my younger cousin Andrea and her mom Bev into coming along with me to find a bridesmaid dress for my friend Erin's wedding this summer. Well, after trying on nearly 30 dresses, most of which were the color of watered-down tabasco sauce and clung to me in all the wrong places, I found one. The sizing was a little funky, but some handy clips took care of that pesky problem, and I decided it would have to do. Let it be known though, that when I went to order it from the sales lady, she certainly did not inform me that the dress I had chosen was actually a maternity dress. Not me!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!