"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for eating your weight in ice cream this week? Wondering if anyone noticed you bribing your kids with snacks so they'd be quiet during church? Perhaps you just gave in and let your kids stay up an hour and a half past their bedtime. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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It's not me who slept through four alarms, two days in a row this week. Think my body is trying to tell me something?? Nah.

And I certainly didn't sleep through another alarm on Sunday. Well actually, I'm kinda proud of this. I didn't wake up until 6:30am, and still managed to nurse the baby, throw some clothes on, and make it to worship team rehearsal by 7:03am. And I didn't look half-bad, either. That's skill, I tell you.

Callan has finally adjusted (I think) to taking a bottle while I am away at work. The first two weeks were a little squirrely. He still isn't always waking for a morning feeding before I leave, which can make things difficult, as a teacher can't just drop everything and pump when she gets to work. Even so, it definitely was not me who pumped on the way to work. Nope.

Did my wardrobe's midsection look a little funny to you one day last week? Rest assured, I was not wearing maternity pants. Nope. Even if there was not a single stitch of clean clothing in my closet, not even if I only own about three pairs of pants that sort of almost kinda fit (read: either darn nearly cut off my circulation or require suspenders...) No. Not even in those circumstances would I throw those things on. Not me!

We have friends who have a son who grew so attached to socks as a baby, they actually became his "lovey," or comfort object. Wherever they went, they had to make sure there were (preferably clean) socks so the little one would sleep. In fact, socks became such a fixture hanging out of his mouth, it was totally fitting when they dressed him as a puppy one Halloween. Knowing all of this, it surely wasn't me who let Callan chew on a sock so he'd stop screaming. And no, it wasn't very likely straight off of his brother's foot. Ugh! That's revolting, and I...ahem...certainly make sure each and every item that touches my babe's sweet lips has been properly sanitized.

Speaking of play toys, it is not my infant who I regularly distract with a plain old plastic hanger, and I definitely haven't turned a blind eye when my normally bouncing-off-the-walls two-year-old is mesmerized by a few breast pump parts that he discovered lying around. Nope. Not me!

It was not me who opened my blog to find this staring back at me:

Nice, eh? Well, it soooo wasn't me who felt insulted by my very own blog. Seriously! Does it not look like that lovely little graphic goes right with the "About Me" and "View My Profile" link above it? Well, it certainly wasn't yours truly who briefly thought, "What the heck?!" before I realized that actually...ahem...it's an ad...

Duh. Duped by my own blog.
Not me!!!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!

      

Happy Birthday, Love!

Kyler is...

an extraordinary grill-master,

exceptional youth pastor,

and avid hunter.

He's pretty darn tall,

ridiculously nerdy,

and willing to do just about anything for a good laugh.

He's also the incredible father of Kayden, 

and Cameron,

and Callan.

And he's forever a lover of Cape Cod,

good  conversation,

and lucky me. 

Tomorrow, he's also the birthday boy.

31 years old.

Happy Birthday, Love!

better than expected

Just in case you missed it, (although I think I've mentioned it about 324957829 times, so I'm not sure how you could have...) I went back to work on May 3rd. I've made it through two weeks now, and I know a few folks (okay, mostly my mom and dad) have been wondering how it's been going. All in all, I can say it's gone much better than I expected.

I'm a long-term sub for the teacher of the Autism program, which is a population I've never worked with before. Well, never in the self-contained classroom; I've had several autistic students included in my general education classrooms. I'll admit, I called into question my ability to serve these students well. Not that the students themselves are cause for fear, that's not what I'm saying at all. (Quite the contrary, actually, in only two weeks I have really come to love them!) It was an anxiety borne out of my own insecurity about (practically immediately) understanding each of their needs and providing a seamless transition and continued support, particularly for the non-verbal and limited verbal students. I know from experience with other students how long it can sometimes take to develop trust and repoire in order for progress to be made. And actually, that has all gone much better than expected.

As you know, I have young children, including an eight-month-old. It's pretty much a given that when you submerse yourself back into school after a time away, it takes awhile to build immunity back up to prevent illness. And one of my students had recently developed an obsession with spitting and playing with it, so basically out of fear for my baby, I became a germophobe for about an hour. After that, I remembered to just pray about it and wash my hands like it was going out of style. And I learned some pretty quick moves when the little man moves to spit on my shoes, hands, or in my hair. It's all good now. And no one at home has gotten sick. And actually, we've implemented a few tricks that are cutting down on the "saliva manipulation." Indeed, that has gone better than expected.

In two weeks, I haven't forgotten I was teaching. Yep, every day, I have remembered to get up and go to work. I know, kudos to me! The near three-hour shift in our daily schedule is really kicking my butt, and I've slept through four alarms two days in a row, but all in all, better than expected.

Callan was not consistently taking a bottle before I began working. This really concerned me. But actually, it eventually worked itself out. He only took 4-6 ounces the entire time I was gone for the first three days, and then he'd eat like a fiend as soon as I returned. Now he's taking at least twice that and seems to be acclimating just fine. Like I said, better than expected.

The last few times I have returned to a long-term subbing position, and (before I had Callan) when I was even just gone for the day, Cameron would refuse to speak to me when I returned. Seriously, my stubborn middle son would ignore me for roughly an hour when I got home, answering me with grunts and refusals to make eye contact. Talk about a terrible guilt trip! Thankfully, he's been all smiles and lots of love this time around. SO much better than I expected.

One of the most daunting aspects of this job was the planning. I've never had a teaching job where I've made completely separate lesson plans for students, much less eight of them on four different grade levels. Modified and differentiated plans? Absolutely. Tiered lessons and guided learning groups? Yep. But eight, completely separate, daily plans for students K-3? No. The administrative aspect of teaching is not my forte. I was anxious. As it turns out, two of my students are mainstreamed into the regular education classroom, and two others, while they have separate behavioral and communication goals, are in roughly the same place academically. And I've managed to stay on top of it for two weeks. You guessed it, better than expected.

Some days, I can't believe I'm getting paid to do this job. Last Thursday, we went horseback riding. Well, I didn't actually get to ride, but I got to leave school for three hours, sit out in the beautiful sunshine, and run around chasing after seven little boys as each of them took a turn riding. And catch this...I get to do this weekly though a collaborative program for therapeutic riding in the county I'm teaching. It's incredible to see the interaction between the students and the horses, and how much they love being around them. And the benefits are tangible: social, emotional, behavioral, intellectual, communicative. What a treat, and not one I expected. Better.  

Of course, the first day we returned from horseback riding, I was accosted (not really) by a parent volunteer hunting each staff member down and taking pictures for Teacher Appreciation Week. After we'd been running around outdoors for three hours. Lovely. But considering this, the picture was, you know, better than expected.

Three times a week, my students have an adapted PE class where they work on targeted fine and gross motor skill development. Last Friday, I got to spend part of my day playing Wii games. Really, I did. Again I thought, "I get paid for this?!" Better than expected.

I mentioned the difficulties of completely shifting my daily routine by about three hours. It's craziness. And unfortunately, Callan is not catching on. He's still be-boppin around until midnight, crying, eating, writhing, and doing the reflux thing. So...I'm not getting much sleep. He goes to bed at midnight or later, wakes to eat around 4:30am, and my alarm goes off at 5am. I'm an eight-hours-a-night sort of person, and that hasn't happened for two weeks. I think my cumulative sleep debt for those two weeks is around 30 hours. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm still functioning coherently. But you know what? I am. And that, my friends, is very much better than expected.

Through it all, I've managed to (sort of) keep blogging. I know I haven't done any of the deeply introspective, personal revelation, or fun story-and-pictures kind of writing, but I'll get there. Promise. You just keep reading, kay? I've got a few things up my sleeve that will hopefully materialize into some interesting, thought provoking, and perhaps even inspirational reads. Hopefully. Who knows? Maybe they'll even be better than expected.
       

Tortilla Soup

      

If you haven't gotten dinner planned yet, no worries. I've got you covered. All you need is a few basic staples (well, they're staples in our house, anyway) and a great big pot (or a crock pot).

Tortilla soup is one of my favorite meals, ever. Definitely a comfort food in our house. It's my cold/rainy/icky-weather go-to, my I'm-homesick-for-Texas go-to, my I-don't-feel-so-hot go-to, and my I-so-don't-feel-like-putting-any-kind-of-effort-into-dinner-tonight go-to. See? SO versatile.

My roommates and I used to throw this together all the time in college, and I've tweaked it a little here and there over the years. And now I'm sharing it with you, because I'm nice like that.

Go ahead and get your counter space and your can opener ready. You'll need:

chicken broth (how much depends on how soup-y you like your soup. I use a couple of quarts, I think)
diced tomatoes (I like the kind with green chilies in them, or I use regular diced tomatoes and then also throw in a can of Rotel. Or I use 1 can of regular and 1 with green chilies. Just remember the longer you let your soup simmer, the more it will bring out the pepper flavor.)
beans (I use 1 can of black and 1 can of pinto)
white hominy (1 can)
whole kernel corn (1 can)
tortilla chips
shredded cheese
cilantro
ground turkey (or shredded chicken, or...)

How much of each thing you include is really personal preference. One can, two cans, whatever. This soup is different every time I fix it. That said:

Drain the beans, hominy, and corn in a colander and rinse with water.
Occasionally, we have it with ground turkey or shredded chicken. Fully cook the meat first.
Throw everything together in a big stock pot or crock pot.
Bring to a boil, then simmer for an hour...or all day.
Top with tortilla chips, the shredded cheese of your choice (my husband likes the four-cheese Mexican blend. I like mozzarella. Whatever.) and cilantro. I love cilantro.

And you're good to go. Dinner! Yum.

Yittle Taw

Momma....I yant FIVE songs tonight.

Okay, babe. What do you want to sing?

No. I yant to sing it by my-elf.

Oh, okay. Go ahead then.

tinkle, tinkle, yittle taw

how I yunder yut you awww

up above da yold so high,

up above da yold so high,

up above da yold so high,

tinkle, tinkle....

oh! was that kayden??

are you going to keep singing?

is he talkin'?

no babe. do you still want to sing?

yes.

okay then. go ahead...

up above da yold so high,

up above da yold so high...

...the lion says, "ROOOAAARRR!!!"

Would You Rather?

     

UPDATED POST:

Weeeellll, here's the thing. I think this is Kyler's influence speaking here, because I'd rather be the ninety-seven cents. Just think of all the options it offers! A myriad of coin combinations, ease-of-use at vending machines, much simpler to deposit and remove from piggy banks, and great for practice with money skills and making change with the little ones. Also, thinking of the little ones, dimes fit much better up your nose than a dollar bill would. Ha!

Although, come to think of it, $1 is enough to provide clean drinking water for 1 African for 1 year. Just like our worship team did with our CD project this fall (read about and listen to it here!). 

Sigh. I don't know...

ORIGINAL POST:

Okay! Here's we go again! This week's question is.... 

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Would you rather be a dollar bill or ninety-seven cents?

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Just scroll to the bottom of this post to comment. *I* just realized that I neglected to respond last week. Oops. Guess I'll have two to post up tonight or tomorrow. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, however light or serious!

If you have no idea what's going on, read the original post below (or click HERE for the original post plus comments) and join in the fun this week!


ORIGINAL ORIGINAL POST:

Are there any Dr. Seuss fans out there reading this? I love Dr. Seuss. Really, who doesn't love him? I also wonder why I can't think of some hair-brained idea like writing books about complete nonsense and selling millions of copies so I can stay home with my children for as long as I want and never have to worry about money to feed them with, thankyouverymuch.

Sigh. Until then, how about a little game?? I love games. And...in another attempt to get some audience participation going on this blog, I've decided we'll play it here. Well, I will. You can play too, if you want. You know, if you're fun.

My kids have a Dr. Seuss book titled, Would You Rather Be A Bullfrog? It's definitely one of my favorites. Here's an excerpt:

Tell me!
Would you rather be a Dog...or be a Cat?
It's time for you to think about important things like that.
Would you rather be a Bullfrog...or be a Butterfly?
Which one would you rather be? 
Come on, now.
Tell me why.
(c) 1975 Dr. Seuss & Random House Books 

I love how many messages can be found in any one book, and for people of all ages, too. I've read this one to my toddlers, and used it with older elementary school children as a morning "Brainwarmer" to get them thinking and writing. The book is basically a compilation of "would you rather?" questions, and I would just pose them to my students and challenge them to justify their answers in journals. See? Higher-level thinking questions first rattle out of the box. Brilliant teaching, I know.

Now it's your turn. I'll pose the question, and you answer it. And by the way, this works best if you, you know, answer. Just to be fair, I'll give my answer too...but not until you do (and tell me why!). Here goes nothing! We'll start easy.

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Would you rather be a dog, or be a cat?

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Mom and K

Pics of my kids smiling at the camera are few and far between these days. Pics with the latter and me in them as well are virtually non-existent. So I decided to share this one, just to prove that every once in awhile, I actually do come out from behind the camera.

"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for having a drop-down, drag-out fight with your spouse right before church? Wondering if you're ever going to arrive on time to anything ever again? Perhaps you just gave in and let your children eat granola bars for dinner. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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This week, I did not have so much going on at dinnertime that I directed my two-year-old to feed his eight-month-old brother. Not me! Such carelessness would result in vegetables everywhere, and we do not have messy mealtimes around here, ever. Nope.

 

My middle child is an angel. There isn't a stubborn bone in his body, and he certainly isn't one to push the envelope or break the rules. Shoot, he follows rules I haven't even made up yet. Ahem. He never requires punishments, whether they be time outs, loss of a treasured items, or even spankings. And when said punishment is carried out, for whatever reason, it is always effective, he never disobeys or mouths off, and the behavior never occurs again. After all, he is only two, and everyone knows, the twos are a breeze. Ahem. So, when he made a major infraction this week and his father punished him with a spanking, he most certainly did not turn right around, brush off his bottom, stare down his father and reply, "I wiped your spanking off, Daddy." No way. Not my son.

It was not this very same child who later hauled off and peed all over his mother in the middle of a diaper change. Nope. Not this child, who is very nearly potty trained, has not done this in quite possibly an entire year, and has enough control that he stopped mid-stream. Uh-uh. I'm telling you, it was not my kid.  

As many of you know, I started working as a long-term substitute again this past week. And working means pumping, because I'm committed to continue nursing Callan until he is ready to wean. So because the classroom I am in is constantly being used, I head out to my car twice a day to pump. The peace and quiet is actually a nice respite from the busyness of the school building. Except last week, the fifth grade DARE graduation ceremony was also going on, so the parking lot was packed. Now, I park a good deal out in the parking lot, where there are normally no other cars, and my car faces a bunch of shrubs. But on this day, of course, there were cars and cars on both sides of mine. And as I sat there in my car with the air conditioner running and the radio on, I was grateful that whatever assembly was going on wasn't going to let out any time soon. Oh, but it did. I must have been in a hurry when I got out to my car, because I left my Nalgene water bottle on the top of my car. Wait. How do I know this, you ask? Well. It's certainly not because a wonderfully nice parent went out of her way to walk over to my car and knock on my driver's side window to let me know. And no, it's not me who was so mortified that I smiled sheepishly and dismissed her, mouthing the words, "It's okay, really, it is..." as she turned away. And again, it's not me who did this without even considering that not allowing her to retrieve my water bottle would only cause more wonderfully nice parents to approach the lady pumping milk in her car to warn her not to drive off without retrieving the water bottle on her roof. Oh, but they did.....

It is not my son who, along with his partner in crime cousin of the same age, decided a makeover was in order this Mother's Day.  Nope. We didn't discover the two of them "sharing" diaper rash cream, painting each other's faces, hair, clothing, and other places I'll refrain from mentioning on this blog. 

No way. 

They had not emptied nearly two entire tubes of the stuff, and it wasn't the super-sticky overnight kind, either.

And no, those aren't his dress clothes he's still wearing, either.

I'm not sure what it is with this kid and painting his feet.

Remember this post from a few months ago??
(If you don't, just click the picture to refresh your memory...) 

Weirdo.

Nope. Not me, not my kids!!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!