"Not Me!" Portraits

Well, this started as part of a "Not Me!" Monday post, but became so involved that I decided to give it its very own post. I'm just nice like that. So, some of it has a "Not Me!" flair. And some of it doesn't. I know you'll understand.

While we were in Texas, I decided to have the boys' picture taken at JC Penney's. I had quite a few coupons, and I've been meaning to take them for awhile. Like, since Kayden was a baby. Oops. Anyway, I'm no fool. I know these studios aren't professional grade by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, I'm no professional photographer, and I take a few pretty stinkin' good photos now and then. But I don't have the professional lighting for a portrait-style shot. So, off to Penney's we went.

The boys were in a great mood when we arrived. I was really looking forward to getting some great shots. And then the photographer informed us she was running behind (after her first appointment of the day, mind you). We were her third appointment. She asked us to return in half an hour, giving her time to finish with her first appointment and shoot her second appointment.

So off we went on a great adventure around the store. We looked at books. We looked at picture frames. We looked at lawn furniture, little boys' underwear, and socks. Mommy bought a big-girl purse. Well, Omie bought Mommy a big-girl purse. I don't blame her. I've had the same purse since college, a cheap, black sack of a thing from the Old Navy clearance bin. It was so time.

We looked at shirts, and found a couple with coupons for the portrait studio (hooray! more coupons!) We browsed the shoes and contemplated replacing some that were ruined in our house flood. We looked at toys, we lost my middle son played hide-and-seek in large racks of clothing, and we sat down on benches.

We did not pull the arms off of mannequins. You know, in case you were wondering. Ahem.

A half-hour passed, and we headed back to the portrait studio. As we rolled on in, the photographer was saying goodbye to her first appointment. No really, her first appointment.

Now, I know what you're thinking. We must have just turned around and given up. No sense in letting the boys get all grumpy. Just wasn't going to happen.

Well. That would have been smart.

At this point, it really just became a battle of the wills. I was determined to get pictures taken. Even so, it wasn't me who dragged my poor children half a mile to the other end of the shopping center and Target, where we ate lunch. A couple of yogurts, personal pizzas, turkey sandwiches, apple slices, and Icees later, we trudged back to Penney's. Iron resolve, I'm telling you.

The photo sessions began. It was not my boys who resisted pretty much every attempt to position them for a photo. They did not roll around on their bellies, growl at the camera, and stomp around when they should have been sitting. The photo lady did not miss about a gazillion perfect candid shots, and it definitely wasn't me who barely maintained composure as she blamed Kayden for her inability to keep the boys corralled and take a good shot. Nope. And I certainly didn't want to yell, "He's only three, you nincompoop!" yank the camera right out of her hands, and take the pictures myself. Uh-uh. Not me.

Despite my frustrations, we did end up with a few cute shots. Like this one:

Keep in mind, I am not a germophobe. But I am decently concerned about germs. So when Callan just grabbed that bat and started gnawing on it, I did not simultaneously say, "Hurry! Take it!" and "Eewwww! Get that thing out of your mouth!!!" Nope. Not me.

Lesson learned. Portraits are cute, but I get too frustrated, and they just aren't for my boys. (For the record though, with all of my coupons I got $120 of prints for $30, and no sitting fees.) Anyway...so when you come over to visit, please smile politely when you see our pictures. They'll be lovingly framed candids of our boys doing what they do best: throwing dirt, eating bugs, and wielding sticks like samurai swords. Betcha' won't get that in a portrait studio.

Blog Award?!?!

I've been a little absent from my blog lately. Maybe somebody noticed? There's just been so, so much going on. Undoubtedly, this introvert would have liked to have retreated back into my blog in the midst of all of this chaos, but I chose instead to ignore the blogging and focus on the other stuff.

I'm glad I did.

So, what's been going on?

- our house flooded (one of my last blogs, here)
- we moved in with Kyler's parents.
- I started counting my blessings.
- we got 6 inches of snow.
- we got 30 more inches of snow.
- we got 14 more inches of snow.
- we drove to Texas, and the kids and I stayed three weeks.
- we drove back from Texas.
- we saw the St. Louis Arch and the New River Gorge Bridge.
- we celebrated Easter.
- The boys and I finally went to the grocery store (compelling, isn't it?)

Aaaaannnnndd....

I got a blog award!!!!

No, really, I did. This one:

Yay for me! I know it's not a huge award that thousands of people will know about, but it means that someone enjoys reading my ramblings, and that's a huge thing for me. Thank you to Lisa at Chaos Appreciation for nominating me. The "rules" say I now need to share several interesting things about myself. Well. I'm not sure that there's anything terribly mind-blowing I can share, but here goes:

- Thinking of interesting things about myself is exceedingly difficult because I struggle with huge self-esteem issues. Not really an interesting fact, I know, but I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes and I've come up with two things. Ugh.

- My brain has a hard time deciding which side is dominant. I'm right handed, but predominantly lefty everything else. This drove camp riflery and archery instructors crazy growing up. I'd sight-up with my left eye, but want to shoot/draw back with my right hand. (And I'd hit dead center.) Also, I love all things organization (like, to ocd levels of labeling and symmetry). But, I can't manage to stay organized. I took the GRE cold turkey my last semester in college. According to the results, I can't speak English or do basic math, but I can logically analyze the heck out of anything. I'm extremely good at logic puzzles, but I was terrible at math growing up. I'm an avid musician, and I love to create things. I'd love to figure this out someday. Any insight is welcome!

- I have half of my thyroid gland. The other half was taken out my last semester in college, along with a tumor that was growing on it. What a huge part of my testimony this is; someday, I'll blog about it.

- Although currently having three kids is kicking my butt, I'd love three more. My husband (and just about everyone else) thinks I'm nuts. In fact, my mother will probably keel over when she reads that. Or she'll call me and tell me I'd better not. Or both.

- I love to learn. I'll probably be one of those crazy 90-year-olds who audits dozens of college courses just to soak up all there is to know.
      

- I was born and raised in Texas. Yeee-haw.

- Someday, I'd love to worship with people in Africa, write a book, and record a CD. Those are totally unrelated; although, I guess they could be related.

- I'm extremely hard on myself. Call it perfectionism, over-achiever syndrome, whatever. I'm slowly recovering. Having kids has helped tremendously. :)

- I wrote an undergraduate thesis on Holocaust Education in college. 

- I've been skydiving. Twice.

- In college, I was elected the student representative for Golden Key International Honour Society, representing thousands of students around the world. Seemed like a really big deal at the time, not so much now. But it was a valuable experience, and God used it in a big way for His glory. Oh, and that's how I met my husband. Minor details.

- I had my third son naturally. As in, without pain medication. This was a big, big deal for me. You can read about his birth here.

Well whaddya know? There's twelve facts for you. (See? There's that overachiever...)

And my nominees (in no particular order):

Carrie at Stephens Country
Laura at Jason and Laura
Carrie at *Mended Flowers* 
Ashley at ~A Fresh Spring Breeze~
Natalie at From Strength to Strength
Diane at All Shall Be Well. Really.

Keep up the beautiful blogging, ladies!
    

Here are rules to accepting the nomination:

1.  Thank the person who nominated you

2.  Copy the award and paste it on your blog

3.  Link to the person who nominated you for the award

4.  List 7 interesting things about yourself

5.  Nominate 7 beautiful bloggers (or however many)
     

"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for flipping the hotel sofa cushions over after your baby spit up on them? Wondering if anyone else will notice you've worn those jeans like seven times without washing them? Beating yourself up over being too exhausted to bathe your toddlers...all week? "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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Before we get started, let's get something straight. I realize I haven't blogged in awhile. More on that later. For now, suffice it to say I am not blogging to avoid the 23 suitcases there are to unpack, the 37 loads of laundry there are to do, and the 2309853495 clean socks there are to match and put away.

My husband and I most certainly did not put off beginning our trip home from Texas until after the WVU Elite Eight basketball game, even though we knew it would likely keep our kids up until 2am. Not us.

And because of that late night, I was not so utterly tired the next morning that we were all dressed and almost out the hotel door before I realized....

Oops. My bad. I mean, what?! I totally meant to do that. Yeah.

Kyler planned our trip back from Texas around my desire to see the New River Gorge Bridge in the heart of West Virginia. I was not disappointed; it is absolutely gorgeous. 

I most definitely was overtaken by its architectural magnificence, and in fact was not on the edge of my seat as we drove down through the gorge, winding down narrow roads, most of which were unprotected by guardrails. 

Not me, the woman who has been skydiving twice, has no fear of heights, and trusts her husband without fail, in all circumstances. I did not completely lose my nerve at times, gasping for breath and clenching my fists as if we were going to plummet to our deaths around every turn. Nope. Didn't happen.

It was not me who, knowing very well that our boys were in desperate need of baths after playing in the yard virtually all day, plopped them right into bed the night before Easter. Was there an emergency, you ask? Was the baby screaming uncontrollably, maybe? Surely, it couldn't have been because the Mountaineers were playing in the Final Four? Nope.

Just so you know, it's not my mom who apparently thinks having five grandsons under the age of 4 qualifies her for handicapped privileges. Seriously, mom? :)

Gasp. NO, I did not let my boys beat some of the blossoms off of the magnolia tree in my in-laws backyard with sticks, because they were entertained and I was exhausted. Geez.

I also did not let them entertain themselves for hours in the horseshoe pit in the backyard.

While we were driving to Texas, we saved money wherever we could. We packed boxes of snacks and a very large cooler so we could picnic instead of eat fast food. One such picnic was particularly memorable. When we stopped for lunch on the second day, it was absolutely gorgeous outside. Totally overtaken by the springtime that was in full swing (remember, when we left home, there was still snow on the ground), we decided to picnic right then and there. We found a nearby spot where the grass was green, there were flowers blooming, the boys had ample room to run around, and there was a space flat enough for our picnic blanket. And we had a magnificent time! If I had remembered to take a picture, I'd post it here. But even if I did, you would see that our picnic was located in a beautiful state park, surrounded by mature trees and a babbling brook. It most certainly was not in a flat spot in the middle of a large, grassy drainage culvert, in between Wal-Mart and the highway, in the middle of Alabama. Nope.

Finally, while we were in JC Penney in Texas, waiting for our turn in the portrait studio (more on that whole experience later...), we took a "tour" of the store, looking at all of the neat things there are to buy. I turned my head for a grand total of 5 seconds, max. When I looked to where my children were, twenty steps ahead of me, I did not see my younger son walking back towards me carrying a large plastic arm. Nope. He didn't single-handedly dismantle a mannequin, and then bring the carnage back to his unsuspecting mother in front of a host of other store patrons. And after we reassembled the poor girl, we certainly didn't sit the boys down and take their picture with the headless creature, just so I could post it with this "Not Me!" Monday. Nope. Not me!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!

One Thousand Gifts

You can read about my decision to begin to count my blessings, at least intentionally and purposefully, here. And by all means, please join in the fun! Leave a comment about the gifts, however large or small, you have received this week.

#1-17 here, #18-39 here, #40-55 here.

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I am grateful...

56. for all three children sleeping at once, however short it lasts.

57. for road trips to Texas, and all of the memories we made along the way!

58. for friendships that continue to endure despite the miles that separate.

59. for Becki and Mark, who opened their home to us on the way to TX. They had dinner waiting when we arrived, rounded up toys and books from friends to entertain the boys, and just showered us all with love while we were there. What amazing people. I continue to be blessed by their friendship.

         
60. for six years of marriage!!

61. for Jude's testimony and his willingness to share it again and again. It doesn't matter how many times I hear it, I am amazed every time at God's redeeming love for us. 

62. for Jesus. Where would I be without my Saviour?

63. for my beautiful mother. I can't even begin to describe all she has taught me about self-sacrifice and mothering. Her expertise in early childhood has been indispensable as I've raised our boys. We don't get to spend enough time with her. The boys sure do love their "Omie!"

64. for the Salt Lick barbecue joint outside of Austin, TX. Seriously, folks. Best. Barbecue. Ever. (Except for maybe my dad's brisket. That stuff is seriously the best I've ever tasted.)

65. And while I'm at it, I'm grateful for for real barbecue. TEXAS barbecue. Oh, how I miss it.

66. lunch dates at J&L with my Paw Paw and Nana when we visit San Marcos. Can't beat cheap, authentic Mexican food. 

67. for getting to know my cousin Andrea better. I've loved our little chats and chances to spend more time with her than I ever have before. And, I know my family loves having her nearby @ Texas State and getting to know her better, too. Love you, Drib!

68. for Kyler planning our trip back from Texas so that I could see New River Gorge and the bridge. Amazing. I still think Bridge Day is completely insane. And cool. I'll stick to jumping out of planes, not off of bridges though, thanksverymuch.

69. for running around underneath the St. Louis Arch with all of my boys. And, for seeing a gorgeous full moon rising beneath the arch. And, for people putting up with my love of trying to take a ga-jillion artsy pictures and posting them on facebook.

70. for the chance to see my cousin Rach and her family, and friends Ryan and Brittany on our trip back home.

71. for Texas bluebonnets. They were absolutely gorgeous this year.

72. for finding a perfect little spot with bluebonnets and cactus to have a little family photo shoot.

73. for Callan not eating the bluebonnet that Kyler picked (gasp!) and gave him to hold during said photo shoot.

73. for lunch with Ginger and catching up after about a decade. Have I mentioned how much I love enduring friendships?

74. for Morgan's Grove Park. I love walking there.

75. for my in-laws backyard and beautiful spring days!

76. for kids who are too young to care whether their Easter egg hunt is on Easter, or on the day after Easter.

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Head on over to Ann's blog, Holy Experience, to read how her gift counting began and visit her Gratitude Community.

Left With Only You

Lord, I stand before you now

To bring you all I have, to give you all I am.

And I will not leave here unchanged,

So take this heart of mine and plant your Spirit deep.

I lay down these worldly things

And I call out to you from this place.

Your Will I will hold on to

Your Word is my stronghold

Oh Lord, to be left with only You.

Your Grace, it astonishes me.

Your Life is my anchor.

Oh Lord, to be left with only You. 

Left With Only You / Chris Joyner / 2000

Answered Prayer

A few weeks ago, we spent all day at church. There were the usual services in the morning, and I sang at both. Kyler worked with the teens, and the boys went to their own classes. We attended a financial seminar in the afternoon while the boys went to their grandparents' house. We were at Kyler's parents' house picking the boys up that evening when our neighbors tracked us down to let us know they heard a water leak in our house. We packed the boys into the car in a hurry returned home to find our entire first floor covered in about an inch of water.

Our response? We laughed. Seriously, we did. Okay, maybe it was mostly a nervous giggle that radiated out of us, knowing that boy howdy, was this every going to be a huge mess. On our way back to Kyler's parents' house for the night, we talked about how it really was an answer to prayer. What?! No, seriously. We've been praying for awhile that God would help us get our house in order so we can put it on the market and move closer to where we do ministry. And we know He answers prayer, every time. Maybe not with the answer we want, or expect, or think He'll give, and sometimes the answer is, "wait," but He always answers. And He absolutely answered our prayer, though defnitely not so much the way we would have planned it out. Ha! You know the Proverb: "In a heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps?" Yeah, that one really applies here. I am looking forward to seeing how God works this for good. (Because yes, I know He will.)

Some pictures of a few of the casualties...

Such a loss. Seriously. What an album.

  The culprit. Nasty little booger.

It's in our pantry. Actually, things could have been totally crazy. We keep our looseleaf tea in a container on the second shelf of the pantry. The leak was going ninety-to-nothing right on that box. Thankfully, it's a (relatively tightly sealed) plastic box. Can you imagine the entire first floor swimming in tea? Hahahahaha....

  

  

  

  

 

   

  

 

Underneath the kitchen cabinets...

  

 

  

 

  

  

  

I'm fighting nervousness over what our claims adjuster will be giving us credit for, especially in the way of big furniture items and things like kitchen cabinets. But, I can't worry about that stuff. It's still a few days away. So meanwhile, I guess I'd better get to reading....

One Thousand Gifts

You can read about my decision to begin to count my blessings, at least intentionally and purposefully, here. And by all means, please join in the fun! Leave a comment about the gifts, however large or small, you have received this week.

#1-17 here, and #18-39 here.

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I am grateful...

40. for answered prayer and peace that passes understanding.

41. for husbands who, without saying a word in protest, immediately put off leaving for work to help with vomiting children.

42. rubber gloves, washing machines, bathtubs, and handheld shower heads (see above)

43. Lysol. The spray, the bathroom cleaner, the wipes...

44. extra sets of sheets and pillowcases

45. digital cameras - not in any way related to #41-44, just to be clear. :)

46. my in-laws. goodness knows I'd be completely lost right now without them!

47. blogging. I haven't had nearly the opportunity since our house flooded, and I miss it.

48. two-and-a-half feet of snow! 

49. snow days with my husband and children

50. shoveling snow - the exercise was very much needed and appreciated 

51. triple naps. Ummm...make that quadruple naps.

52. finding extra cell phone charger in the guest bedroom at my in-laws (after the only one I owned was damaged in the flood, and my cell phone died)

53. clean towels

54. extra sleep

55. hot showers. this will likely be a regular on these lists. So therapeutic!

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Head on over to Ann's blog, Holy Experience, to read how her gift counting began and visit her Gratitude Community.

"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for consistently making fun of things your husband says in your "Not Me!" posts? Wondering if your toddler will ever be completely potty trained? "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my (and I admit, my family's...) many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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Oh my. What a crazy couple of weeks. Snow. Church. In-laws. Snow. Financial seminars. Phone calls. House floods. In-laws again - for a few nights. More snow. FEET of snow. Stuck at in-laws. Church at home. More phone calls. More snow. Home briefly. Back to in-laws...with suitcases. I find myself nearly incapable of maintaining composure as I ride a (very thinly veiled) emotional roller coaster. Trying to trust my God, knowing He is in control no matter how ape-baloney my life seems to be getting...well, suffice it to say that is not always an easy thing to do.

So instead I'll blog. Another gratitude post is begging to be written. Until then, I am so behind on my "Not Me!" posts. So here we go. Over the past two weeks...

It was not me who totally chowed on an enormous bad of Skittles we bought for one of my son's friend's birthday present. Yum. I mean, not me!

While cleaning my two- and three-year-old sons' room, I meticulously placed each toy in the clear plastic box labeled with a colorful picture of its contents. I...ahem...did not get so frustrated with cleaning up Mr. Potato head's pants for the fortieth time that I just shoved them under the boys' dresser.

No, I never, ever use nursing the baby as an excuse to stay downstairs or sit in front of the computer while my husband puts the kids to bed. Never.

Cameron is best occupied when doing things he is not allowed to do, as most boys are.  Armed with this knowledge, I certainly did not intentionally give him a huge roll of stickers and purposefully allow him to go to town decorating our kitchen floor, just so I could have a few minutes of quiet and enjoy a cup of hot tea sans-screaming children. Nope. Not me!

During the past two weeks, I have not had a day so utterly frustrating, so absolutely non-productive that I actually put my five-month-old in front of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," just so I could get one stinking load of dishes done. Gasp! What kind of mother...??? Not me!!

I do not routinely dress my three-year-old in too-small pants because he is growing too stinking fast to keep up with. (And I do not make comments almost daily about how enormous he is, despite the fact that his father is 6'6" and I should not be surprised that he is 42" tall and easily the size of an average five-year-old.) Don't even get me started on his shoe size...

I did not turn around from doing dishes the other day to find that my fair-skinned, blonde-headed two-year-old had drawn all over his head..with a Sharpie.

When I aim to get household chores done, I do not turn a blind eye to whatever my children may be doing at the time, simply so I can get something accomplished. Which is why I did not allow my boys to rearrange, sort into pots, toss, and roll fresh fruit all around the kitchen two weeks ago, just so I could clean up a bit. What's four or five pounds of bruised fruit between friends?

I'm so glad my toddlers are calm, responsible, predictable little boys. Our days are never interrupted with shrieks of, "Daddy!!! Come look at this!!!" And such phrases certainly don't come from the bathroom. And should we (hesitantly) investigate such shrieking (which we don't, because our boys are calm and predictable, remember?) we definitely don't find them with one foot on the bathroom stool, one on the sink, and two hands on the toilet seat, arching their bottom into the air in a feat of as yet unparalleled bathroom acrobatics...nope. Not our kids.

And while I'm on the subject of the bathroom, let's just get something clear. My sons love me. A lot. Heaps and heaps and whole, whole bunches, in fact. And just so you know, they tell me all the time, too. In lots of different places and during a myriad of different activities. Not usually while I am wiping their bottoms.

We have been staying with my in-laws for two weeks while our downstairs is basically demolished. But keeping up with everyone's belongings and dirty laundry has been a cinch. I am never running around like a headless chicken looking for a clean undergarment, properly sized diaper, or two matching shoes. Similarly, I have not put a pair of his cousin's significantly smaller socks on Kayden's enormous feet like seventeen times. And since we woke up by 8:30am on Sunday, getting to church for the 11am service was cake. Everyone was clean, matching, and totally on time. Cam's shoes were not on the wrong feet, Kayden's pants weren't nearly falling off, we were not 15 minutes late, and I did not have to wear a pair of Kyler's black dress socks with my brown shoes and too-short blue pants. Nope. Not me!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!