Little Battles

I've been reading in Joshua lately, and a few days ago finished chapter six, when Joshua and his army conquer Jericho. It's Chapter 7 though, that always serves as a reminder to commit everything I do to God, regardless of how small or insignificant it seems to me. In Joshua 7, the Israelites, reeling from their spectacular defeat of Jericho, are routed in their attempt to conquer Ai, a small neighboring city. Before the defeat, Joshua had sent spies to Ai, who had reported that it was small and had few men. So, Joshua only sent a few thousand of his men to Ai. They were smartly defeated by those few men, and chased far outside the city gates. Joshua mourned the loss of 36 men, and sought God in an attempt to understand why He had allowed the defeat. It was then that God revealed the sin among the Israelites - someone had disregarded His command to take nothing out of Jericho.

There are many lessons to be learned here, but what strikes me the most at this particular place in my life is how Joshua sought God after the defeat at Ai, not before. He relied on his own intelligence, cunning, and strength as a leader for the upcoming battle. He sent spies to the land, and wholly relied on their opinion and his intuition for the victory, and was crushed when that didn't work out so well.

It really floors me how often I do this. Seriously, I consider myself to have pretty decent intelligence, and yet I make this same mistake over and over again. There are probably times when I make it several times - in one day! How often do I prepare to face some "little battle" in my life wholly on my own strength, intelligence, willpower, etc.? I struggle through some days as if I'm walking through mud up to my waist, wondering why the smallest of tasks are so burdensome and difficult. Well, duh. It's so easy for me to get that "wonder woman" sydrome - I can do it all....Ummm, no, I can't. And of course it's natural to go to God with the things I can't handle (the ones I know I can't control, as opposed to the ones I think I can...) Those are easy to let go of, because I never really felt like I had a hold on from the get-go. But the "little battles," the small everyday things that I think I should be able to do no problem, well it takes more than just remembering to go to God and cover those in prayer. It takes some letting go of my own pride and self-determination, too.

I had some major grad projects due this week. Naturally, I left them until the last few days to start them. In college, (the first time...) this worked great. I really do produce some of my best work at the last minute. But in college, I didn't have a husband, a house to clean, two toddlers to care for, or a pregnant belly. Procrastinating is downright exhausting at this stage of life! Anyway, these projects shouldn't have taken me so long. Every step was bogged down by indecision, exhaustion, and difficulty. It wasn't until I was nearly finished and wondering why on earth it had taken me nearly 20 hours to complete what should have been a 6-hour assignment that I realized I hadn't once sought God and asked for His help. Even as I read through Joshua and reminded myself of this valuable lesson, I neglected to apply it right then in my life. Isn't that just like me.

What an incredible gift that my creator knows me, loves me and accepts me right where I am, even when I am foolish enough to try and control even the tiniest of details on my own. Amazing grace, indeed.


Little Baby

I know, I've been totally slacking off on the blogging front. So many ideas for blogs, and I usually choose sleep. Can you blame me? :) I have grand ideas about blogging more regularly from now on, but I know better than to promise anything. Anyway...

morning, we all piled into the car and headed to Sterling for Baby #3's sonogram (our insurance only covers one, so this was a big event!) We were anticipating quite a big adventure, because we were taking the boys with us to the appointment. It's about an hour's drive to Sterling (without traffic), and miraculously, we actually arrived a little early.

The boys actually behaved themselves quite well, and were pretty much mesmerized by the ultrasound technician and the images on the TV screen. They took turns sitting up on Kyler's shoulders so they could be closer to the TV (mounted up high in the corner of the room, so I had a great view, too). Cameron kept pointing at my belly, saying, "baba," and was quite amused with the gooey jelly on my tummy.

Okay, so I'll stop babbling now and get to the pics:

Baby #3 - 4D
We'd never seen a 4D ultrasound of our baby before, so it was really pretty cool. I'll admit, it does look like a lumpy bunch of clay. And because it's only 21 weeks, Baby's skin is still pretty loose and weird looking. But, it's still our baby and completely miraculous. :)

Precious baby feet!

I know this one is hard to make out, but it's a shot of Baby's head and one forearm. The tech said Baby was "waving" to us, and even printed two identical shots and personalized them for Kayden and Cameron - such a nice thing to do!

Little baby was breech when this pic was taken, although I'm sure it did at least a dozen somersaults during the hour we were in the sonogram room!

And...the picture you've all been waiting for, the "gender" shot.

It's taken directly underneath our little baby (you see one bent leg, blurry pelvic bones, etc.) Of course, the tech and radiologist will never tell you they are 100% sure, but both of them told us they have a "Chances are: Poor, Fair, or Good" baby will be a boy/girl.

And both also said this baby falls at the top of their "good" range that Kayden and Cameron will be welcoming a new little...


Yep, those are some pretty decisive boy parts.
This Mommy is going to be seriously outnumbered - and I coudn't be more thrilled! :)

And my favorite: the profile shot. What a beautiful, perfect little miracle growing in my belly!

And the answer is no, we haven't named him yet. In fact, we both let out a little sigh when we saw the little boy parts. (We've gotten pretty good at telling, one reason why we may as well find out during the sonogram, chances are we'd see it anyway!) Anyway, we didn't sigh because we were disappointed, we sighed because we both knew we have absolutely no idea what we are going to name the little man. We had a girl's name picked out, but haven't even narrowed the field for a boy.

So, until we decide otherwise, we're calling the baby "Yogi". Get it? Yogi Barr?


I know, we're hilarious. His nickname is "Boo Boo" as in, "Heeeeey, BooBoo!" Ridiculous, but it keeps us amused until we can arrive at a decision. Suggestions are welcome. :)

Thanks for sharing in this journey with us! More to come....


Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is our 5th Anniversary! For now, just a picture....