Yearning...

Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek and find my God
My God

Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
Over You and only You
Lord I want to yearn

Your joy is mine
Yet why am I fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him

Oh You give life and breath
Through Him You give all things
In Him we live and move
That's why I sing

"Yearn" / Shane & Shane / 2005

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Do you know this song? (To hear it, scroll to the playlist at the bottom of the page - it's #10.) I love it. It really speaks into my soul when I'm feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or far from God. It's a prayer I can sing, and remember God's promise that I will find Him when I seek Him with all my heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

We have a prayer room at our church, and when I have the opportunity to go there (or I suppose I should say, when I make the opportunity) I have a habit of choosing a song off of one of the many CDs and playing the song on repeat for the duration of my time there. Music is a tool the Holy Spirit uses to speak directly into my soul, and listening to a song over and over again is a way I can meditate and pray on the words.

(Aside: I also believe this is why we should be especially vigilant about the worship songs we listen to. Particularly in my case, where music really seeps into my soul, I want to make sure the words I memorize and am singing over and over again are speaking God's truth. I want to make sure they are an accurate representation of scripture. A topic for another post...)

In ministry, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the everyday execution of things: rehearsing for leading worship, small group curriculum, evangelism and outreach events, discipleship studies, weekly messages, etc. Ironically, this stuff just clutters up the simplicity of God's message. In my case, many times I find that I become so busy "doing God's work" that I lose sight of continuing to deepen my relationship with Him through prayer, reading scripture, and reflecting on that message.

And I come to a place where I realize that I can't really do any of those "ministry things" effectively (nevermind excellently) if I'm not placing that relationship first, foremost, and highest on my list of priorities. I'm ashamed when I discover that I've let ministry itself become an idol. His Word reminds me:

²⁴"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. ²⁵And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. ²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸'For in him we live and move and have our being.'
Acts 17:24-28

Thank goodness for His love and mercy, and above all, His forgiveness. He doesn't need any of the stuff I foolishly offer Him (although He certainly uses those who place Him first to reach others and grow them). All He wants is ME. All He wants is my heart.

He wants me to yearn for Him.