"Not Me!" Monday

Welcome! Are you feeling embarrassed this week that your house was a total disaster when your husband's grandmother dropped in for a visit? Or maybe you opened the washer to find you had washed a Pull-Up along with all of the kids' clothing? Perhaps you're just totally frustrated that your kids never fail to totally soil their bedsheets right after you wash them. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!


Do you ever have a week that is so completely ape-baloney that your house looks something like the picture below?

No? Well, thank goodness.

Me neither.

This is a picture of...ahem...someone else's house. Even if my house did look like this, I certainly wouldn't post it on my blog, knowing that my mother and a bunch of folks from church would see it. Geez, I'm smarter than that.

We've visited the concept of healthy eating several times in the past few weeks, so rest assured I have internalized it all. My kids and I eat healthy foods 100% of the time. So when we returned home from four days at my in-laws for Thanksgiving to find the refrigerator empty and the milk spoiled, I loaded everyone up in the car and went grocery shopping immediately, stopping to feed my children a healthy breakfast on the way. I certainly didn't just give up and feed everyone Craisins and animal crackers for breakfast. Nope. Not me!
I threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law this week. It was not six weeks after her baby was born, and I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the better part of a week preparing. It also did not start snowing like crazy the morning of the shower, and I did not get phone call after phone call from folks backing out of coming. This did not really frustrate me, and I was not a bit grumpy because of it all. Not me!

One of the desserts I made for the baby shower were these cute little red velvet-raspberry squares. They were fun to make, but for a fact it wasn't me who was just a little disturbed by the red velvet cake batter. And it's not my kitchen that still hasn't been cleaned up from the baking extravaganza. And because of all of that red velvet cake batter it most definitely does not look like a bloody chicken ran through my kitchen. Just so you know.

As we were frantically packing up the car (in the wet, sloppy, slippery snow) my dear husband was asking which things I needed to take. He was exceedingly helpful, carrying boxes of desserts and asking which serving trays to bring. So when we were finally ready and loading the last things out of the fridge and he asked, "Do we need the chicken?" I surely didn't respond with a sarcastic, "YES, Kyler, it's a desserts and CHICKEN baby shower." Not me!

The baby shower was at 1pm, so our guests could head over after they ate lunch. The problem for our family however, was that we were rushing around preparing things for the shower until 1pm. And I'd been so busy doing things that morning (nursing the baby, feeding the boys, baking desserts, nursing the baby, packing the car, nursing the baby...) that I'd skipped breakfast, too. By the time guests started arriving for the shower, I was not so totally consumed with guarding the table of food from my ravenous children that I still hadn't eaten lunch. And an hour later, after feeding the kids, my first meal of the day most assuredly was not a plate full of desserts.  

Nope. Not me!

I sang on the worship team yesterday at church. Despite my exhaustion from a crazy, busy week, I was mentally totally on top of things. So when it came time for the "meet and greet," I was enjoying myself, walking around greeting friends and giving hugs. After about five minutes, I wondered what the hold-up was. Why hadn't the announcements started? I wandered around a bit longer, waiting for whoever it was to get their act together and get up on the stage. Another two minutes passed, and I approached our worship pastor to ask. Don't worry, when he checked our "same page" to find out, we discovered it wasn't me who was supposed to be on stage five minutes ago to begin the announcements. Thank goodness. I was so tired that morning, if I'd been responsible, I might have forgotten.

As I've said, this week was busy. Super busy. So I guess I'm fortunate that I'm such an incredible manager of time and toddlers, and lucky that my baby understands that when it's time for us to leave for Christmas production rehearsal, he needs to buckle down and drink up. Otherwise, I might find myself in situations where we're heading out the door in a rush, and I discover that the bathroom floor where my three-year-old so efficiently and independently used the bathroom is covered in a huge puddle of urine. Or predicaments like my baby refusing to nurse, so that I'm forced to drive to rehearsal and pump at the same time. Yep. So glad that wasn't me.   

Isn't it funny how your ideas of what is acceptable (as opposed to what is revoltingly disgusting) change when you become a parent? This week while I was checking my e-mail and my husband was holding our baby, I did not hear him exclaim, "DUDE, Callan! Oh....it's just a bunch of spit up. I thought it was poop."


"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun, blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our lives. Join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!      

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