"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for flipping the hotel sofa cushions over after your baby spit up on them? Wondering if anyone else will notice you've worn those jeans like seven times without washing them? Beating yourself up over being too exhausted to bathe your toddlers...all week? "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

*********************************************

Before we get started, let's get something straight. I realize I haven't blogged in awhile. More on that later. For now, suffice it to say I am not blogging to avoid the 23 suitcases there are to unpack, the 37 loads of laundry there are to do, and the 2309853495 clean socks there are to match and put away.

My husband and I most certainly did not put off beginning our trip home from Texas until after the WVU Elite Eight basketball game, even though we knew it would likely keep our kids up until 2am. Not us.

And because of that late night, I was not so utterly tired the next morning that we were all dressed and almost out the hotel door before I realized....

Oops. My bad. I mean, what?! I totally meant to do that. Yeah.

Kyler planned our trip back from Texas around my desire to see the New River Gorge Bridge in the heart of West Virginia. I was not disappointed; it is absolutely gorgeous. 

I most definitely was overtaken by its architectural magnificence, and in fact was not on the edge of my seat as we drove down through the gorge, winding down narrow roads, most of which were unprotected by guardrails. 

Not me, the woman who has been skydiving twice, has no fear of heights, and trusts her husband without fail, in all circumstances. I did not completely lose my nerve at times, gasping for breath and clenching my fists as if we were going to plummet to our deaths around every turn. Nope. Didn't happen.

It was not me who, knowing very well that our boys were in desperate need of baths after playing in the yard virtually all day, plopped them right into bed the night before Easter. Was there an emergency, you ask? Was the baby screaming uncontrollably, maybe? Surely, it couldn't have been because the Mountaineers were playing in the Final Four? Nope.

Just so you know, it's not my mom who apparently thinks having five grandsons under the age of 4 qualifies her for handicapped privileges. Seriously, mom? :)

Gasp. NO, I did not let my boys beat some of the blossoms off of the magnolia tree in my in-laws backyard with sticks, because they were entertained and I was exhausted. Geez.

I also did not let them entertain themselves for hours in the horseshoe pit in the backyard.

While we were driving to Texas, we saved money wherever we could. We packed boxes of snacks and a very large cooler so we could picnic instead of eat fast food. One such picnic was particularly memorable. When we stopped for lunch on the second day, it was absolutely gorgeous outside. Totally overtaken by the springtime that was in full swing (remember, when we left home, there was still snow on the ground), we decided to picnic right then and there. We found a nearby spot where the grass was green, there were flowers blooming, the boys had ample room to run around, and there was a space flat enough for our picnic blanket. And we had a magnificent time! If I had remembered to take a picture, I'd post it here. But even if I did, you would see that our picnic was located in a beautiful state park, surrounded by mature trees and a babbling brook. It most certainly was not in a flat spot in the middle of a large, grassy drainage culvert, in between Wal-Mart and the highway, in the middle of Alabama. Nope.

Finally, while we were in JC Penney in Texas, waiting for our turn in the portrait studio (more on that whole experience later...), we took a "tour" of the store, looking at all of the neat things there are to buy. I turned my head for a grand total of 5 seconds, max. When I looked to where my children were, twenty steps ahead of me, I did not see my younger son walking back towards me carrying a large plastic arm. Nope. He didn't single-handedly dismantle a mannequin, and then bring the carnage back to his unsuspecting mother in front of a host of other store patrons. And after we reassembled the poor girl, we certainly didn't sit the boys down and take their picture with the headless creature, just so I could post it with this "Not Me!" Monday. Nope. Not me!

*********************************************

"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!