"Not Me!" Monday

Embarrassed that your child urinated all over your husband's grandparents' nice white sofa...twice? Totally frustrated that the majority of your wardrobe consists of garments stained by baby spit-up? Wondering if anyone else's child has ever completely dismantled the couch cushions? No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you! It frees me up to admit my many imperfections, and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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I value routine, and I know maintaining one (or at least attempting to maintain a semblance of one) is important to my children. Therefore, it was not our boys who went to bed no earlier than 10pm all but two days this week. 

I also value good hygiene and cleanliness, and am totally on top of all of my children's needs, all the time. Which is why it couldn't have been me who failed to notice that Cam's diaper had gone unchanged long enough that it was literally dripping. Gross. Good thing it wasn't me who neglected to change him.

The boys and I often try and meet Kyler at his parents' house (near church) for lunch on his long days at work. Last week during one such family lunch date, I did not witness my husband giving the boys sippy cups full of V8 juice. Watered-down V8 juice. Desperate to get vegetables in their bodies or not, that's just disgusting! (As in, involuntary gag reflex engages just thinking about it. Blech!) After drinking one sip, Cam simply stated, "I done," and got down out of his chair. Kayden had a sip a few minutes later, made a sour face, and said, "Ummm...Daddy? There's something IN this..." Ha! Not MY husband!

Poor Kayden fell and split his head open this week. (You can read about what happened in my "Never A Dull Moment" post). I am totally level-headed pretty much constantly. So it was not me who flipped out after my son returned from the ER upon seeing that his now repaired "boo-boo" looked like this:

And it certainly wasn't me who later realized (upon intense inspection) that what I initially assumed was opened (and frankly, chewed-up looking) flesh was actually part of the surgical glue compound. Nope, not me!

And finally, I'll end this week's post with one of Cameron's creative endeavors while I was nursing the baby. Except Cam is a calm and altogether boring child, who never gets into things he shouldn't, takes things apart just for curiosity's sake, or erupts in loud episodes of screaming just to hear his own voice. So when I found him on the floor with my makeup bag and its contents spread all around him, I know it must have been some other two-year-old who silently scaled the bathroom counter, retrieved the bag, took it to an inconspicuous, out-of-sight-and-out-of-reach-while-Mommy-is-nursing-the-baby location, and proceeded to inspect and devise his own creative use for each bottle, blusher, and brush. Not my child!

And, upon discovering Cam doing all of this, I definitely didn't allow him to continue exploring while I retrieved the camera and snapped pictures 'til my heart's content. Not me!

As promised in my "Makeover" post, my pics and dialogue of Cam's exploration of my makeup bag:

Hey Cam! What'cha got there?

Oh! Is that Mommy's makeup brush?

Hmmm..what'cha do with that?

Of course.

You use it to paint foundation all over your feet.

Oooh, gorgeous.

Nicely done, kiddo.

 

 

Ummm...and what's that in your hair?

Oh, it's mascara?

Waterproof mascara?

Oh, okay, no problem then. Just checking.

 

My makeup was needing a makeover anyway.

 

 

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I'd love to hear about all of the things you didn't do this week! Scroll down and click on the comment link to leave a note. "Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun, blogging carnival started by MckMama on her blog. Basically, it's where we all can be brutally honest about our imperfections and admit parts of our week that we'd rather not have happened.