"Not Me!" Monday

 

Welcome! Are you feeling guilty for eating your weight in ice cream this week? Wondering if anyone noticed you bribing your kids with snacks so they'd be quiet during church? Perhaps you just gave in and let your kids stay up an hour and a half past their bedtime. No worries! "Not Me!" Monday was written just for you. It frees me up to admit my many imperfections and vent about the absolutely ridiculous things that are my everyday. Enjoy at my expense, and join in the fun by commenting below!

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It's not me who slept through four alarms, two days in a row this week. Think my body is trying to tell me something?? Nah.

And I certainly didn't sleep through another alarm on Sunday. Well actually, I'm kinda proud of this. I didn't wake up until 6:30am, and still managed to nurse the baby, throw some clothes on, and make it to worship team rehearsal by 7:03am. And I didn't look half-bad, either. That's skill, I tell you.

Callan has finally adjusted (I think) to taking a bottle while I am away at work. The first two weeks were a little squirrely. He still isn't always waking for a morning feeding before I leave, which can make things difficult, as a teacher can't just drop everything and pump when she gets to work. Even so, it definitely was not me who pumped on the way to work. Nope.

Did my wardrobe's midsection look a little funny to you one day last week? Rest assured, I was not wearing maternity pants. Nope. Even if there was not a single stitch of clean clothing in my closet, not even if I only own about three pairs of pants that sort of almost kinda fit (read: either darn nearly cut off my circulation or require suspenders...) No. Not even in those circumstances would I throw those things on. Not me!

We have friends who have a son who grew so attached to socks as a baby, they actually became his "lovey," or comfort object. Wherever they went, they had to make sure there were (preferably clean) socks so the little one would sleep. In fact, socks became such a fixture hanging out of his mouth, it was totally fitting when they dressed him as a puppy one Halloween. Knowing all of this, it surely wasn't me who let Callan chew on a sock so he'd stop screaming. And no, it wasn't very likely straight off of his brother's foot. Ugh! That's revolting, and I...ahem...certainly make sure each and every item that touches my babe's sweet lips has been properly sanitized.

Speaking of play toys, it is not my infant who I regularly distract with a plain old plastic hanger, and I definitely haven't turned a blind eye when my normally bouncing-off-the-walls two-year-old is mesmerized by a few breast pump parts that he discovered lying around. Nope. Not me!

It was not me who opened my blog to find this staring back at me:

Nice, eh? Well, it soooo wasn't me who felt insulted by my very own blog. Seriously! Does it not look like that lovely little graphic goes right with the "About Me" and "View My Profile" link above it? Well, it certainly wasn't yours truly who briefly thought, "What the heck?!" before I realized that actually...ahem...it's an ad...

Duh. Duped by my own blog.
Not me!!!

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"Not Me!" Monday is an incredibly fun blogging carnival started by MckMama. In a nutshell, it's where we all can be open about the ridiculous things that happen in our everyday lives. Head on over to her blog, where you can read heaps of other great "Not Me!" stories. Or, join in the "Not Me!" fun and leave a comment about all of the things you didn't do this week!